Today I breathe easier. And I must say that I wrote that first sentence hours ago. But now, I breathe a LOT easier.
Putting our trust in God showed us in the last 24 hours how he WILL provide what we need. And it re-affirms how I need to be more faithful and less stressed on a daily basis, and with whatever this world throws at me. When the world throws poop at us, God will help us wash it off.
For me, it meant a little bit of compassion and assistance from DH. He is helping with daycare costs a little bit more until my tax return comes.
For Dave, it means a new job.
And for us, it means that we have decided not to proceed with a big wedding with all the festivities next year. We realized while talking last night that we were each planning the big ceremony for the other person, but in all actuality, all we need individually is the small ceremony we're having this year. We'll have each other and our immediate family. THAT is what is most important. NOT spending thousands of dollars on a party.
And with that last part said, I need to resurrect the "Song of the Day."
Showing posts with label Money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Money. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Stress and Money: They Come and They Go
An hour later...
Suddenly, while I'm focused on doing the best job I can, and whistling while I work, I get a call that I don't want... My ex-husband, telling me that the kids are being refused from day care unless I go over and make a payment.
So I did.
Argh.
I don't have money for this. Yes, I got paid today and have money in my bank account to cover the check I had to write, but that severely impacts the other bills I have to pay. Rent (for February!), car insurance, food, gas for the car... Sigh... I NEED to find something else.
To top it off, the IRS website is no longer telling me the status of my (hefty) tax return. The site I used to file said I could receive my funds in as soon as 10 days. Today is day 10. So why, today, is the status of my return no longer showing up? Is my payment in process? Is it not coming? I'm not a fan of uncertainty.
And to say the least, I'm stressed.
Majorly, agonizingly, stressed.
I know what I need to do, but why is it so hard sometimes? Being a Christian I know I need to put my Faith in God to provide what I need, but I feel like I should be doing more.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Do Your Laundry
As I climbed into bed last night I could help but to think about how simple things, like crawling into my own bed each night, can be taken for granted. From there I began to think about the other earthly pleasures I take for granted, most of them on a daily basis.
Why did I have such thoughts?
Here's why...
Pretty much unrecognizable, that's a clothes dryer in the middle of the picture, next to the chair. Or should I say a charred dryer next to a charred chair?
Upon arriving home from church yesterday, Dave, the boys and I were welcomed by firetrucks and a Red Cross van in our driveway. Three apartments down, a young mother had put her daughters down for a nap, and walked out of their room into a cloud of black smoke coming out of the dryer. She opened the door and flames burst out at her. From there, the fire spread around the apartment, and between the flames and the smoke, the possessions they held dear were destroyed.
No clothes.
No furniture.
No toys.
No... Anything...
Dave and I pulled together a couple bags of clothes for her and her fiance and I was able to find a few baby blankets left over from my boys for her 5 month old. And Thing 2 brought tears to her eyes when he presented her with a stuffed elephant for her 2 year old. But I went to bed wanting to be able to do more.
As I lay down to sleep, however, it truly hit me how much they lost. Everything must be re-acquired. From a cup to drink out of to toothbrushes and towels. Baby clothes and diapers, and a chair to sit on. Wow.
I seem to be full of pleas for my readers (if I have any) lately, but here's a couple more...
1. Check out dryer vents and lint traps regularly. Your lint trap should be emptied before EVERY load. A clogged vent can not only cause clothes to not by dried in one cycle, but can burn out your heating element, or worse, start a fire. If you rent, ask your landlord to clean your vent at least once a year.
2. Invest in renter's insurance. If you own your home, your home owner's insurance would cover a disaster such as this. However if you rent, you need to cover yourself. And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't cost that much. Geico, for instance, charges approximately $40/month. Does that sound like a lot? Think about EVERYTHING you'd need to replace if your apartment burnt down. Yea...
Why did I have such thoughts?
Here's why...
Pretty much unrecognizable, that's a clothes dryer in the middle of the picture, next to the chair. Or should I say a charred dryer next to a charred chair?
Upon arriving home from church yesterday, Dave, the boys and I were welcomed by firetrucks and a Red Cross van in our driveway. Three apartments down, a young mother had put her daughters down for a nap, and walked out of their room into a cloud of black smoke coming out of the dryer. She opened the door and flames burst out at her. From there, the fire spread around the apartment, and between the flames and the smoke, the possessions they held dear were destroyed.
No clothes.
No furniture.
No toys.
No... Anything...
Dave and I pulled together a couple bags of clothes for her and her fiance and I was able to find a few baby blankets left over from my boys for her 5 month old. And Thing 2 brought tears to her eyes when he presented her with a stuffed elephant for her 2 year old. But I went to bed wanting to be able to do more.
As I lay down to sleep, however, it truly hit me how much they lost. Everything must be re-acquired. From a cup to drink out of to toothbrushes and towels. Baby clothes and diapers, and a chair to sit on. Wow.
I seem to be full of pleas for my readers (if I have any) lately, but here's a couple more...
1. Check out dryer vents and lint traps regularly. Your lint trap should be emptied before EVERY load. A clogged vent can not only cause clothes to not by dried in one cycle, but can burn out your heating element, or worse, start a fire. If you rent, ask your landlord to clean your vent at least once a year.
2. Invest in renter's insurance. If you own your home, your home owner's insurance would cover a disaster such as this. However if you rent, you need to cover yourself. And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't cost that much. Geico, for instance, charges approximately $40/month. Does that sound like a lot? Think about EVERYTHING you'd need to replace if your apartment burnt down. Yea...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Keep on Keeping On
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.
Keep on seeking, and you will find.
Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.
~Matthew 7:7
How can I say it any better than that? My life feels like a roller coaster sometimes, with unimaginably awesome ascents and unforgiving descents. When I remember to put faith in my Faith, however, my life plateaus for a bit, and more often or not the plateau is on an up, not on a down.
Last night was filled with all kinds of rushes in good ways. Here are a few highlights:
- Thing 1 and Thing 2 came home after spending the last 5 nights with their dad.
- Thing 1 presented Dave with an awesome picture he drew, with the caption "The Best Dad Award"
- I did my taxes last night, and forecasted Dave's. The good news... Actually, GREAT news is that money is on it's way!
- My fingers were ready for knitting last night. I divided my dress for the front and back over the weekend, and last night I started the neck and shoulder shaping, including binding off the neckline stitches. I'm thinking I'll be able to finish at least the left shoulder tonight!
I hope you and your loved ones are either on the ascent or on a plateau at the top! XO
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Year of Ketchup
While preparing to compose today's post, I realized my previous method of naming my posts, by day number counting from the beginning of the post, doesn't really do my blog justice. So much has happened since I began writing the blog that I could have essentially started back at Day 1 any number of times. So from here on out I will be trying to name my posts in some sort of creatively relevant manner.
Last night was my second knit in a row of not working on knitting my wedding dress. I had every intention of working on it, however the pattern with all my notes has temporarily made itself scarce. I'm going to find it, I know I am, however the break from knitting has given me some time to... NOT think. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE to knit. And even more, I love to be knitting my wedding dress. However sometimes my mind just gets going to fast that even concentrating on my pattern can't keep my mind under control. My thoughts while knitting tend to be focused on money, the wedding (obviously) and a whole lot of randomness, but at times all the thoughts blur together and make me feel anxious. And with all the good in my life, I don't like to feel anxious.
So last night I spent my time playing on my Kindle Fire, Dave's first big surprise for me over the Christmas/New Year's holiday. Words With Friends has become an addiction, however last night I was sucked into Sim City. I remember being in high school, spending weekends at my Dad's and staying up until all hours playing it. Now that I think about it, even back then it gave me the same escape from reality then as it does now.
Last night's game was going extremely well until my city grew so big that I actually started LOSING money. And that leads me to my thought of the morning. How many times can our hopes and dreams become SO large that they actually case us to implode onto ourselves? We let ourselves take on so much that by the time we realize we're overburdened, we're already caving in under the pressure?
So I realize today, that like Sim City, it is necessary to take life one step at a time. Last night I found myself building too much of one zone, only to lose money and have them remain empty. This is like life, only people put eggs into too many baskets and fail to succeed or make an omelette out of any of them.
Dave and I have decided that 2012 is the year of Catch-Up. (Everytime I say this I want to say Ketchup, with my boys in mind). But, Suze Orman would probably agree that it's impossible to catch up if you're trying to tackle it all at the same time. Tackle one at a time and you'll get them all worked out eventually. Try to handle them all at once and you'll be where you started, with nothing done and nothing more to show for all your stress and efforts.
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34
Last night was my second knit in a row of not working on knitting my wedding dress. I had every intention of working on it, however the pattern with all my notes has temporarily made itself scarce. I'm going to find it, I know I am, however the break from knitting has given me some time to... NOT think. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE to knit. And even more, I love to be knitting my wedding dress. However sometimes my mind just gets going to fast that even concentrating on my pattern can't keep my mind under control. My thoughts while knitting tend to be focused on money, the wedding (obviously) and a whole lot of randomness, but at times all the thoughts blur together and make me feel anxious. And with all the good in my life, I don't like to feel anxious.
So last night I spent my time playing on my Kindle Fire, Dave's first big surprise for me over the Christmas/New Year's holiday. Words With Friends has become an addiction, however last night I was sucked into Sim City. I remember being in high school, spending weekends at my Dad's and staying up until all hours playing it. Now that I think about it, even back then it gave me the same escape from reality then as it does now.
Last night's game was going extremely well until my city grew so big that I actually started LOSING money. And that leads me to my thought of the morning. How many times can our hopes and dreams become SO large that they actually case us to implode onto ourselves? We let ourselves take on so much that by the time we realize we're overburdened, we're already caving in under the pressure?
So I realize today, that like Sim City, it is necessary to take life one step at a time. Last night I found myself building too much of one zone, only to lose money and have them remain empty. This is like life, only people put eggs into too many baskets and fail to succeed or make an omelette out of any of them.
Dave and I have decided that 2012 is the year of Catch-Up. (Everytime I say this I want to say Ketchup, with my boys in mind). But, Suze Orman would probably agree that it's impossible to catch up if you're trying to tackle it all at the same time. Tackle one at a time and you'll get them all worked out eventually. Try to handle them all at once and you'll be where you started, with nothing done and nothing more to show for all your stress and efforts.
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34
Friday, January 20, 2012
DAY 355
Today is going much better that yesterday. I feel like I can breathe and am in more control of what's going on in my life. Yes, there are still things I want (and have no control over), like making more money, but as long as we have a roof over our head and food in the cabinets I can handle the rest. And what I don't feel like I can handle, I can pray for.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Day 323
I've come to the realization that I do NOT like slow days at work. While some people may enjoy the fact that they can theoretically do what they want, I find my eyes wanting to close, and myself endlessly daydreaming about what I'd rather be doing. I like being busy. No, I don't like getting down to the wire with tasks that need to be done, but I really enjoy having a stream of projects to work on.
The boys have been with their dad since Wednesday and do not come home to Dave and I until Christmas Day (Sunday) at 3pm. I miss them. We enjoy the quiet, don't get me wrong, however... After a day or so it's almost too quiet.
Dave can't wait to give me my Christmas presents, and I can't wait to see Dave and the boys open theirs. The materialistic aura around Christmas continues to trouble me, however I love to give. Honestly, I have everything I could possibly want. If there were no presents under the tree for me, I would be perfectly ok with that.
Alright, I am going to move on to pretending I'm working on something else... In all reality, I'm probably listening to Tony Robbins and trying to develop a way to become financially successful. :-)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Day 310
I'm out of the office on lunch and it occurred to me that I haven't updated the blog lately.
My silence has been the result of extreme happiness and hard work. Dave, the boys and I are all happy and healthy, and we are gearing up for Christmas. I've been trying to impress upon the boys this Christmas season what the true meaning of the holiday is. It's not about what we get, but about what we have and why we have it.
But I won't deny that's difficult. With a six-year-old (and nine-year-old) in the house, visions of Santa with a bag of presents are very prominent.
We have made K-Love, a national Christian radio station, a fixture in our lives, and I heard on it yesterday that the average PERSON (not couple, family, etc.) spends $700/year on Christmas presents. I let out an audible "phooooooo." $700/year... That's essentially rent for a month for us. So here I am trying to figure out how to make Christmas great on maybe $300, and I hear that the average person spends $700. So if you're reading this, I challenge you to remember what Christmas is really about, and try to focus on that instead.
Dave asked me over the weekend what I want for Christmas and my response (after telling him - him), was a new coffee cup. Yes, that's all I want. A new travel mug that doesn't leak when I try to take a sip out of it. But I guess I never cease to surprise him. I know he knows I'm not materialistic, but at the time of the year when most people send out mile long Christmas-lists with hundreds of dollars of ideas that they'll probably never use, I choose to be real. And even when I stretch my brain, I can't think of anything else I want for Christmas.
We found a new church in August that we've been attending, Grace Baptist, and we love how their focus in not on what the church needs financially, but when they do talk about money, it's about how we can help the missionaries or other organizations that need money. Our family decided to help out Operation Christmas Child (I think that's what it's called), after we heard about what children on the other side of the world have to do without. While I was able to buy my boys each a 24-box of Crayons for $.50, on the other side of the globe, children go without because crayons cost $5.00... and the average monthly income is $2.00. Children in Africa need to follow a food truck once a week in order to get fed, and because they lack bowls or cups, they drop the hot oatmeal (or whatever they're served) out of their hands and onto the road... And they end up eating it off the road.
So how can I ask for anything more than a coffee cup, when there are children living like this?
My silence has been the result of extreme happiness and hard work. Dave, the boys and I are all happy and healthy, and we are gearing up for Christmas. I've been trying to impress upon the boys this Christmas season what the true meaning of the holiday is. It's not about what we get, but about what we have and why we have it.
But I won't deny that's difficult. With a six-year-old (and nine-year-old) in the house, visions of Santa with a bag of presents are very prominent.
We have made K-Love, a national Christian radio station, a fixture in our lives, and I heard on it yesterday that the average PERSON (not couple, family, etc.) spends $700/year on Christmas presents. I let out an audible "phooooooo." $700/year... That's essentially rent for a month for us. So here I am trying to figure out how to make Christmas great on maybe $300, and I hear that the average person spends $700. So if you're reading this, I challenge you to remember what Christmas is really about, and try to focus on that instead.
Dave asked me over the weekend what I want for Christmas and my response (after telling him - him), was a new coffee cup. Yes, that's all I want. A new travel mug that doesn't leak when I try to take a sip out of it. But I guess I never cease to surprise him. I know he knows I'm not materialistic, but at the time of the year when most people send out mile long Christmas-lists with hundreds of dollars of ideas that they'll probably never use, I choose to be real. And even when I stretch my brain, I can't think of anything else I want for Christmas.
We found a new church in August that we've been attending, Grace Baptist, and we love how their focus in not on what the church needs financially, but when they do talk about money, it's about how we can help the missionaries or other organizations that need money. Our family decided to help out Operation Christmas Child (I think that's what it's called), after we heard about what children on the other side of the world have to do without. While I was able to buy my boys each a 24-box of Crayons for $.50, on the other side of the globe, children go without because crayons cost $5.00... and the average monthly income is $2.00. Children in Africa need to follow a food truck once a week in order to get fed, and because they lack bowls or cups, they drop the hot oatmeal (or whatever they're served) out of their hands and onto the road... And they end up eating it off the road.
So how can I ask for anything more than a coffee cup, when there are children living like this?
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Day 178, Post 1
Ah... Sometimes it's hard not to let the stress of money get to me. But when it does I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful support network who remind me to keep my chin up and that God will provide.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Day 164, Post 1
Today has already been a whirlwind day. And it's probably going to get even more so considering I just drank a 6-hour energy shot and I'm currently nursing an AMP energy drink. (Can you tell I was feeling completely exhausted?)
To start the day off, Thing 2 beat me at a game of Backgammon (almost) fair-and-square before school. I found out my paycheck was deposited so I went to the ATM to get money for Dave and I to buy gas and my card was rejected as invalid. Invalid?? I called the bank and because I changed my last name due to the divorce, a new ATM card was issued a month ago. I just never opened the envelope. Doh.
So home I went, and then to Speedway to buy gas. Yea... I paid for $15, pulled the handle so it would pump while I was taking care of trash and the next thing I know, my car has $21+ in gas. And I'm an honest person so I went back in to take care of the balance I owed, but the girl at the cash register couldn't figure it out and customer comp'd the difference for me. Two gallons of free gas?!? I'll take it!
Then, an hour after I got to work there was a fire alarm and the fire truck came so... A nice ten minute break was had.
But I was crashing... Hard... I don't know why, but I was completely exhausted and coffee wasn't working so I went out during lunch to buy an energy shot. I decided while I was out to buy new headphones (Slacker.com keeps me going during the day and my headphones broke) at Meijer and while checking out, I had a feeling to buy two scratch-off lottery tickets for $1 each. And I won $4!
This afternoon I am getting my haircut for the first time since my birthday, and I am REALLY looking forward to it. While I know I could go to Great Clips and spend $15, haircuts by my favorite local stylist are the one luxury that I really allow myself. I am anything but a materialistic person as far as I'm concerned, but damn... A good haircut complete with a shampoo and style just feels SO great sometimes.
Dave reminds me occasionally that God will provide what we need, but today He is being VERY good to me! It's a GREAT day! Thank you!
To start the day off, Thing 2 beat me at a game of Backgammon (almost) fair-and-square before school. I found out my paycheck was deposited so I went to the ATM to get money for Dave and I to buy gas and my card was rejected as invalid. Invalid?? I called the bank and because I changed my last name due to the divorce, a new ATM card was issued a month ago. I just never opened the envelope. Doh.
So home I went, and then to Speedway to buy gas. Yea... I paid for $15, pulled the handle so it would pump while I was taking care of trash and the next thing I know, my car has $21+ in gas. And I'm an honest person so I went back in to take care of the balance I owed, but the girl at the cash register couldn't figure it out and customer comp'd the difference for me. Two gallons of free gas?!? I'll take it!
Then, an hour after I got to work there was a fire alarm and the fire truck came so... A nice ten minute break was had.
But I was crashing... Hard... I don't know why, but I was completely exhausted and coffee wasn't working so I went out during lunch to buy an energy shot. I decided while I was out to buy new headphones (Slacker.com keeps me going during the day and my headphones broke) at Meijer and while checking out, I had a feeling to buy two scratch-off lottery tickets for $1 each. And I won $4!
This afternoon I am getting my haircut for the first time since my birthday, and I am REALLY looking forward to it. While I know I could go to Great Clips and spend $15, haircuts by my favorite local stylist are the one luxury that I really allow myself. I am anything but a materialistic person as far as I'm concerned, but damn... A good haircut complete with a shampoo and style just feels SO great sometimes.
Dave reminds me occasionally that God will provide what we need, but today He is being VERY good to me! It's a GREAT day! Thank you!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day 152, Post 1
Yes, I am at work. I'm continuing to work on a special project with a couple of great co-workers, however today is review day and... It gets a bit boring. Except for when one of them starts tapping out sitcom theme songs on the table and a google search for the actual theme song follows. That's what's happening now.
I talked to the boys last night (they are at their dad's), and I feel bad for their dad. Why? At the end of the conversation they wanted to know when they are coming back to my house and wanted to blow me kisses. They don't do that during conversations with their dad, but that's because he hasn't earned the respect from them to receive that type of treatment. And that sucks.
Dave and I are continuing to work wonderfully as a team. Last night we relished in the fact that we paid the rent not only on-time, but a day early. While this may seem like a small accomplishment to some, it's huge to us. Although it will be slow-going, we see in our near future that all bills (well, all household bills, not my personal debt) will be caught up, on time, and paid on a timely basis. And that's a WONDERFUL feeling. While in the past I hated with a passion the necessary task of balancing my checkbook... And refused to do it... Now I have an Excel file that breaks down all my spending into categories and I check my bank account on a daily basis. Plus, I have a yearly tab which shows the spending per category from one month to the next and is truly an eye-opener. I have to remember that the month of May included a road-trip for the four of us back to New York, but the amount I/we spent eating out was ridiculous!
I can't figure out how to include my spreadsheet (my figures excluded) to this post, but if you would like the file to use for yourself, let me know!
I talked to the boys last night (they are at their dad's), and I feel bad for their dad. Why? At the end of the conversation they wanted to know when they are coming back to my house and wanted to blow me kisses. They don't do that during conversations with their dad, but that's because he hasn't earned the respect from them to receive that type of treatment. And that sucks.
Dave and I are continuing to work wonderfully as a team. Last night we relished in the fact that we paid the rent not only on-time, but a day early. While this may seem like a small accomplishment to some, it's huge to us. Although it will be slow-going, we see in our near future that all bills (well, all household bills, not my personal debt) will be caught up, on time, and paid on a timely basis. And that's a WONDERFUL feeling. While in the past I hated with a passion the necessary task of balancing my checkbook... And refused to do it... Now I have an Excel file that breaks down all my spending into categories and I check my bank account on a daily basis. Plus, I have a yearly tab which shows the spending per category from one month to the next and is truly an eye-opener. I have to remember that the month of May included a road-trip for the four of us back to New York, but the amount I/we spent eating out was ridiculous!
I can't figure out how to include my spreadsheet (my figures excluded) to this post, but if you would like the file to use for yourself, let me know!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Day 148, Post 1
I'm sitting at Thing 2's final tee-ball game of the season, enjoying it immensely because his dad isn't here to bring the night down with his negativity. The only damp part of the evening is the wet in my hair and on my shirt from the Mountain Dew I doused myself with while getting out of the car.
Thing 2 and I had quite the conversation on the way to the ball field. It revolved around God and ended with a discussion about death and heaven. We promised each other that whoever dies first will watch down over the other and will give hugs and kisses to the other when he/she dies and joins them. I made him promise that if I die before him that he won't be too sad because he'll see me again, and he made me promise the same. It's amazing how deep a conversation with a five-year-old can be.
The boys have both been questioning Dave and I about step-parents and about us getting married. While neither of us is ready (whether financially, physically and/or mentally), I have no doubt that it is in our future. Honestly, the only things stopping me are my bankruptcy (I don't want to have to include him because he's my spouse) and the fact that his daughter is not here. I told Dave last week that if/when we get married, I will NOT do it unless she is there. His response? He would like to include her IN the wedding, like as the flower girl. BIG happy sigh.
Thing 2 and I had quite the conversation on the way to the ball field. It revolved around God and ended with a discussion about death and heaven. We promised each other that whoever dies first will watch down over the other and will give hugs and kisses to the other when he/she dies and joins them. I made him promise that if I die before him that he won't be too sad because he'll see me again, and he made me promise the same. It's amazing how deep a conversation with a five-year-old can be.
The boys have both been questioning Dave and I about step-parents and about us getting married. While neither of us is ready (whether financially, physically and/or mentally), I have no doubt that it is in our future. Honestly, the only things stopping me are my bankruptcy (I don't want to have to include him because he's my spouse) and the fact that his daughter is not here. I told Dave last week that if/when we get married, I will NOT do it unless she is there. His response? He would like to include her IN the wedding, like as the flower girl. BIG happy sigh.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
DAY 137, Post 1
I think the hardest part of my job is knowing what to do when I have nothing to do. Right now is obviously one of those moments. At no previous job has my desk ever been cleaner than my desk is right now. Is there clutter on it? Yes. But only of the kind that my co-workers need and I can't put in a drawer that may be locked when they go to get it. So... The Franklin Covey puncher for organizer pages stays on my desk, taking up a valuable two-square-feet..
A definite perk of this job is the plethora of K-Cup options for the Keurig machine in the break rooms. With probably a minimum of 20 flavors, I've been able to try my tongue at them without having to buy a whole box at the grocery store. At $7.99/box, I would hate to get a box home and discover upon the first sip that I detest the flavor. Thanks to Dave and his sweet tooth, I've started putting sugar in my coffee again and have been able to stomach every flavor the break room has to offer.
And the highlights of my job?! The continued ability to have lunch with Dave every day. And today we carpooled. (Can it be considered carpooling when we only drive a quarter-mile at most to work?) Unfortunately the lunches and carpooling will stop next week when his schedule moves up an hour-and-a-half, but we'll still be able to see each other on breaks.
This is the boys' weekend with their Dad, quite appropriately considering it's Father's Day weekend, and Dave and I are enjoying a little bit of quiet already. Weekends begin Wednesday night and don't end until I pick them up after work on Monday. I can't fully figure out what to do for Dave for Father's Day though. K is across the ocean, and my bank account is suffering, but I still want to do something special for him. He is an amazing father to his daughter, an amazing role-model for my boys, and an amazing person altogether. I just want him to have an amazing day.
A definite perk of this job is the plethora of K-Cup options for the Keurig machine in the break rooms. With probably a minimum of 20 flavors, I've been able to try my tongue at them without having to buy a whole box at the grocery store. At $7.99/box, I would hate to get a box home and discover upon the first sip that I detest the flavor. Thanks to Dave and his sweet tooth, I've started putting sugar in my coffee again and have been able to stomach every flavor the break room has to offer.
And the highlights of my job?! The continued ability to have lunch with Dave every day. And today we carpooled. (Can it be considered carpooling when we only drive a quarter-mile at most to work?) Unfortunately the lunches and carpooling will stop next week when his schedule moves up an hour-and-a-half, but we'll still be able to see each other on breaks.
This is the boys' weekend with their Dad, quite appropriately considering it's Father's Day weekend, and Dave and I are enjoying a little bit of quiet already. Weekends begin Wednesday night and don't end until I pick them up after work on Monday. I can't fully figure out what to do for Dave for Father's Day though. K is across the ocean, and my bank account is suffering, but I still want to do something special for him. He is an amazing father to his daughter, an amazing role-model for my boys, and an amazing person altogether. I just want him to have an amazing day.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Day 135, Post 1
Dave so greatly reminded me today that sometimes things get worse before they get better. And I needed that reminded, especially when financially things got worse today on the brink of getting better.
Ill admit, I've been playing roulette for the past couple of months in regards to what bill(s) had to be paid and which could wait. And today the gas company caught up to me. But as pissed as I am (at myself and my lack of funds), I have to remind myself of all the positives. 1) its not winter and we don't need heat 2) Dave and I both now have GOOD jobs and this is the last month of this poorness 3) the electricity is still on 4) the rent is paid.
So, now comes the struggle of figuring out how and when to get the gas turned back on. I HATE asking for help. And while you may wonder why Dave isn't paying it, ill tell you he would x's 5 if he could. But his job just started last week, and after 2 months of being unemployed, you can imagine what his bank account looks like. Sadly, mine isn't any better.
But as Monty Python sang...
Always look on the bright side of life!
I'll suck it up and ask for help one last time, knowing that next month we'll be on the up and up... Or at least our bank accounts will be. Dave, the boys and I are already well on the up and up. And it just hit me that despite the financial stresses, I really couldn't be happier. And that feels better than words can express.
Ill admit, I've been playing roulette for the past couple of months in regards to what bill(s) had to be paid and which could wait. And today the gas company caught up to me. But as pissed as I am (at myself and my lack of funds), I have to remind myself of all the positives. 1) its not winter and we don't need heat 2) Dave and I both now have GOOD jobs and this is the last month of this poorness 3) the electricity is still on 4) the rent is paid.
So, now comes the struggle of figuring out how and when to get the gas turned back on. I HATE asking for help. And while you may wonder why Dave isn't paying it, ill tell you he would x's 5 if he could. But his job just started last week, and after 2 months of being unemployed, you can imagine what his bank account looks like. Sadly, mine isn't any better.
But as Monty Python sang...
Always look on the bright side of life!
I'll suck it up and ask for help one last time, knowing that next month we'll be on the up and up... Or at least our bank accounts will be. Dave, the boys and I are already well on the up and up. And it just hit me that despite the financial stresses, I really couldn't be happier. And that feels better than words can express.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
DAY 107, Post 2
I'm beginning to think that my new job is God's way of telling me that I should have followed in my parents' footsteps and gone to school for accounting. Somehow the Administrative Assistant position here includes the special added responsibility of scouring through dozens of tabs on Excel spreadsheets to find where miniscule cost savings figures have come from. And while I normally enjoy detail orientated tasks, the one I've been working on for the past two days is making my eyes cross and blood boil. I'm just glad I didn't listen to my first instinct last night and take my work home with me, as I probably would have smashed the laptop before the night was over.
Tonight Thing 2 is supposed to have a T-Ball game, a make-up game for one that was previously rained out. And it's raining... Again. And as horrible as it may sound, I find myself relieved. DH has been less than cordial at any of the games, and at last Friday night's make-up game (also for Thing 2), Dave was just about to throw him a punch. But I've already reminded Dave, that he's never been in jail, and DH is not an acceptable reason (not that any is) to make a visit there. Plus, I don't have money to bail him out, haha.
I'm a few weeks behind in reading "Our Daily Bread," however when I go home for lunch I'm going to have to show Dave today's to read. The end reads,
"Instead of returning injury and insult, may we live by Christ-honoring and Spirit-empowered alternatives: Live at peace with everyone, submit to a spiritual mediator, and leave it in the hands of authorities and, most of all, in God's hands."
Perhaps DH will someday get tired of being ignored through his insults and tirades, or perhaps I'll have to get a restraining order against him, but in the meantime, I really do have to remember, for Dave and my sake, that we can not take any action except no action.
Tonight Thing 2 is supposed to have a T-Ball game, a make-up game for one that was previously rained out. And it's raining... Again. And as horrible as it may sound, I find myself relieved. DH has been less than cordial at any of the games, and at last Friday night's make-up game (also for Thing 2), Dave was just about to throw him a punch. But I've already reminded Dave, that he's never been in jail, and DH is not an acceptable reason (not that any is) to make a visit there. Plus, I don't have money to bail him out, haha.
I'm a few weeks behind in reading "Our Daily Bread," however when I go home for lunch I'm going to have to show Dave today's to read. The end reads,
"Instead of returning injury and insult, may we live by Christ-honoring and Spirit-empowered alternatives: Live at peace with everyone, submit to a spiritual mediator, and leave it in the hands of authorities and, most of all, in God's hands."
Perhaps DH will someday get tired of being ignored through his insults and tirades, or perhaps I'll have to get a restraining order against him, but in the meantime, I really do have to remember, for Dave and my sake, that we can not take any action except no action.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
DAY 101, Post 1
I love my new job. LOVE it. But the hours between 2 and 4pm seem to drag unmercilessly. And even worse are the days (like today) when I have eaten a big lunch and my eyes just want to keep crossing. Today the Mountain Dew and coffee don't seem to be helping either. So... I blog.
Yes, I know I shouldn't be doing this from work, but I have a dilemma as far as work is concerned. I'm GREAT at my job. And I'm quick to get my work done, which leaves me with a void in my To-Do pile. Currently I have work to do, however I'm waiting for responses from my co-workers before I can continue on any of it. And I've already cleaned my desk, including spraying it with cleaner, and my e-mail inbox. And I've started on a Power Point presentation for the weekly Monday Morning meeting, even though my pre-decessors didn't normally work on it until Friday. But, yes... I get satisfaction out of surprising people with the news that my work is already finished... Correctly... And ahead of schedule.
Yesterday Dave and I bought a grill and last night he made DELICIOUS beef ribs for dinner. I've never had beef ribs before, and even Mr. Picky Eater Thing 2 loved them! I have to say however, that I had absolutely no clue how much buying a Propane tank cost! Speedway charged over $50 for the tank (because we needed to buy a new tank, not just exchange an empty for a filled), but on a positive note, they give 1000 speedway points with a tank purchase. Now if I only knew how to cash in Speedway points... Hmmm...
Tonight is the first of our two much appreciated (regular) nights off from the boys of the week. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my boys. However, the quiet in the house for those two nights is... Welcomed with open arms... And I will say that I know I like it even more because I know their dad won't be calling to talk to them, even though he already saw them earlier in the day. Perhaps I'll come across as uncaring, but on the nights when he has them, I try to give him HIS time with them without interuptions from me. But he doesn't look at it that way. And I feel he intrudes on my time with the boys. And unfortunately for the boys (and him I guess), they don't want to talk to him when he calls. But he gives attitude to me and them if they don't talk to him, so I am forced to give them no option but to talk to him. And that sucks.
Alright.. Back to work.
Yes, I know I shouldn't be doing this from work, but I have a dilemma as far as work is concerned. I'm GREAT at my job. And I'm quick to get my work done, which leaves me with a void in my To-Do pile. Currently I have work to do, however I'm waiting for responses from my co-workers before I can continue on any of it. And I've already cleaned my desk, including spraying it with cleaner, and my e-mail inbox. And I've started on a Power Point presentation for the weekly Monday Morning meeting, even though my pre-decessors didn't normally work on it until Friday. But, yes... I get satisfaction out of surprising people with the news that my work is already finished... Correctly... And ahead of schedule.
Yesterday Dave and I bought a grill and last night he made DELICIOUS beef ribs for dinner. I've never had beef ribs before, and even Mr. Picky Eater Thing 2 loved them! I have to say however, that I had absolutely no clue how much buying a Propane tank cost! Speedway charged over $50 for the tank (because we needed to buy a new tank, not just exchange an empty for a filled), but on a positive note, they give 1000 speedway points with a tank purchase. Now if I only knew how to cash in Speedway points... Hmmm...
Tonight is the first of our two much appreciated (regular) nights off from the boys of the week. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my boys. However, the quiet in the house for those two nights is... Welcomed with open arms... And I will say that I know I like it even more because I know their dad won't be calling to talk to them, even though he already saw them earlier in the day. Perhaps I'll come across as uncaring, but on the nights when he has them, I try to give him HIS time with them without interuptions from me. But he doesn't look at it that way. And I feel he intrudes on my time with the boys. And unfortunately for the boys (and him I guess), they don't want to talk to him when he calls. But he gives attitude to me and them if they don't talk to him, so I am forced to give them no option but to talk to him. And that sucks.
Alright.. Back to work.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
DAY 76, Post 2
Take me out to the ballgame! Or 30 of them?!
Baseball season for the boys has officially begun. Right now I'm in a local school gymnasium for the team and individual player pictures. Thing 2 had his pictures at 8am, and Thing 1's are at 930. While I thought about leaving to get Tim Hortons for the boys, I'm tired, comfortable, and unwilling to spend the money on food we don't need.
The boys look so cute/handsome in their uniforms though. I want to see if I can get a quick picture of both of them together without having to pay for it. I doubt it, but it would be worth a shot (no pun intended!)
CT came by and we talked yesterday. He's struggling with me being out there dating other people and I feel really bad about it. I mean, I know where he's coming from... Sort of... Because I've wondered more than once if CL-WoW has been out there. While I enjoy my time with him immensely, I worry about committing especially after my date with JW Thursday night. I had a really great time, nevermind the fact that we closed more than one establishment in town, haha.
I suppose all I can do is pray. If no other day/week has shown me the power of prayer and putting my trust in Jesus, this week has. And I know I have to do it for ALL aspects of my life. And right now, relationships (or lack thereof) are one of the areas I need the most guidance in.
Baseball season for the boys has officially begun. Right now I'm in a local school gymnasium for the team and individual player pictures. Thing 2 had his pictures at 8am, and Thing 1's are at 930. While I thought about leaving to get Tim Hortons for the boys, I'm tired, comfortable, and unwilling to spend the money on food we don't need.
The boys look so cute/handsome in their uniforms though. I want to see if I can get a quick picture of both of them together without having to pay for it. I doubt it, but it would be worth a shot (no pun intended!)
CT came by and we talked yesterday. He's struggling with me being out there dating other people and I feel really bad about it. I mean, I know where he's coming from... Sort of... Because I've wondered more than once if CL-WoW has been out there. While I enjoy my time with him immensely, I worry about committing especially after my date with JW Thursday night. I had a really great time, nevermind the fact that we closed more than one establishment in town, haha.
I suppose all I can do is pray. If no other day/week has shown me the power of prayer and putting my trust in Jesus, this week has. And I know I have to do it for ALL aspects of my life. And right now, relationships (or lack thereof) are one of the areas I need the most guidance in.
Friday, April 15, 2011
DAY 75, Post 2
Wow... I am overjoyed right now! I got the job and I start a week from Monday! Its a 50% pay increase, 40 hours a week, and a total... I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling!
On a side note... I had a first date last night. It went GREAT and I look forward to seeing him again!
On a side note... I had a first date last night. It went GREAT and I look forward to seeing him again!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
DAY 73, Post 3
Well, this day isn't going as planned. I came out here to buy clothes and when I got to the register the money I had transferred into my account before I left home was gone. My business account is overdrawn and has been charged off and apparently they are taking funds from my other accounts to take care of my balance.
Soooo... I went to the bank across the street to get money out my checking account (I lost my debit card and ordered a new one this morning) and then drove back over to mall. I didn't park near the entrance because I was really upset and after 10 minutes I decided to get some food. Wouldn't you know, as I was pulling out of the mall parking lot, he drove by. Yea... I drive out here not intending to see him, bother him, etc. and he drives by ME. (I know it wasn't intentional.)
Unfortunately where I was planning on picking up a small lunch was in the same direction he was headed. I lost my appetite. I turned around when I got there and came back to the mall, where I am now. It didn't make me lose my appetite to see him so much as the possibility of being seen by him. I'm not here for him. And I don't want to piss him off.
So here I am, new clothes in a bag by my feet, trying to force myself to eat at this small mall Chinese restaurant that he took me to a couple times. And I'm just not hungry.
Please, God, tell me why he had to drive by then? What are you trying to tell me?
Soooo... I went to the bank across the street to get money out my checking account (I lost my debit card and ordered a new one this morning) and then drove back over to mall. I didn't park near the entrance because I was really upset and after 10 minutes I decided to get some food. Wouldn't you know, as I was pulling out of the mall parking lot, he drove by. Yea... I drive out here not intending to see him, bother him, etc. and he drives by ME. (I know it wasn't intentional.)
Unfortunately where I was planning on picking up a small lunch was in the same direction he was headed. I lost my appetite. I turned around when I got there and came back to the mall, where I am now. It didn't make me lose my appetite to see him so much as the possibility of being seen by him. I'm not here for him. And I don't want to piss him off.
So here I am, new clothes in a bag by my feet, trying to force myself to eat at this small mall Chinese restaurant that he took me to a couple times. And I'm just not hungry.
Please, God, tell me why he had to drive by then? What are you trying to tell me?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
DAY 70, Post 2
I only have a few minutes before I need to get ready for work. Today I work 8-4. I clearly upset my General Manager yesterday when he saw the note that I had updated my availability for work. He came to ask me about not being able to work on Sundays, and I stated to him that the church has asked me to help out. While I haven't written about it on here before, the church has contacted me to assist in the Children's Ministry, particularly in the childcare rooms during services. I would be honored. But I can't (personally)commit unless I know that I will not have to work on Sundays. It would be unfair for them to count on me unless I can commit to not working on Sundays. And seeing as I had been thinking about it for some time anyway, I think it's the right thing to do. As Christians we aren't supposed to work on Sundays anyway, so what better way to "work" then to help out at my church?
I've spent the last hour scouring the internet for jobs and luckily found a couple to apply for. While for the most part I like the people I work with at my job, the pay and hours really aren't working for me. And having a four year degree, I am really concerned that I will get trapped in the minimum-wage restaurant track if I don't make a change soon. I'm grateful that I've made it the three months I have there so far though. Seriously, the job is MUCH more intense than I ever expected.
While looking for a new job, I've also been giving a lot of thought to going back to college. I'm debating between education and therapy/counseling as far as majors go, and I will continue to think about it, probably until the fall. Both of my moms went back to school later in life, and both went back after the age of 32, so I can wait a bit longer until I figure out if this is my calling. The thought of taking out more student loans continues to be troubling to me, but pursuing a career in interior design/architecture is proving to be difficult, especially due to the geographic constraints imposed by the divorce. And there is no way I will move out of the area and lose time with my boys. NO way.
I've spent the last hour scouring the internet for jobs and luckily found a couple to apply for. While for the most part I like the people I work with at my job, the pay and hours really aren't working for me. And having a four year degree, I am really concerned that I will get trapped in the minimum-wage restaurant track if I don't make a change soon. I'm grateful that I've made it the three months I have there so far though. Seriously, the job is MUCH more intense than I ever expected.
While looking for a new job, I've also been giving a lot of thought to going back to college. I'm debating between education and therapy/counseling as far as majors go, and I will continue to think about it, probably until the fall. Both of my moms went back to school later in life, and both went back after the age of 32, so I can wait a bit longer until I figure out if this is my calling. The thought of taking out more student loans continues to be troubling to me, but pursuing a career in interior design/architecture is proving to be difficult, especially due to the geographic constraints imposed by the divorce. And there is no way I will move out of the area and lose time with my boys. NO way.
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