Day 148, Post 1

I'm sitting at Thing 2's final tee-ball game of the season, enjoying it immensely because his dad isn't here to bring the night down with his negativity. The only damp part of the evening is the wet in my hair and on my shirt from the Mountain Dew I doused myself with while getting out of the car.

Thing 2 and I had quite the conversation on the way to the ball field. It revolved around God and ended with a discussion about death and heaven. We promised each other that whoever dies first will watch down over the other and will give hugs and kisses to the other when he/she dies and joins them. I made him promise that if I die before him that he won't be too sad because he'll see me again, and he made me promise the same. It's amazing how deep a conversation with a five-year-old can be.

The boys have both been questioning Dave and I about step-parents and about us getting married. While neither of us is ready (whether financially, physically and/or mentally), I have no doubt that it is in our future. Honestly, the only things stopping me are my bankruptcy (I don't want to have to include him because he's my spouse) and the fact that his daughter is not here. I told Dave last week that if/when we get married, I will NOT do it unless she is there. His response? He would like to include her IN the wedding, like as the flower girl. BIG happy sigh.

DAY 137, Post 1

I think the hardest part of my job is knowing what to do when I have nothing to do.  Right now is obviously one of those moments.  At no previous job has my desk ever been cleaner than my desk is right now.  Is there clutter on it?  Yes.  But only of the kind that my co-workers need and I can't put in a drawer that may be locked when they go to get it.  So...  The Franklin Covey puncher for organizer pages stays on my desk, taking up a valuable two-square-feet..

A definite perk of this job is the plethora of K-Cup options for the Keurig machine in the break rooms.  With probably a minimum of 20 flavors, I've been able to try my tongue at them without having to buy a whole box at the grocery store.  At $7.99/box, I would hate to get a box home and discover upon the first sip that I detest the flavor.  Thanks to Dave and his sweet tooth, I've started putting sugar in my coffee again and have been able to stomach every flavor the break room has to offer.

And the highlights of my job?!  The continued ability to have lunch with Dave every day.  And today we carpooled.  (Can it be considered carpooling when we only drive a quarter-mile at most to work?)  Unfortunately the lunches and carpooling will stop next week when his schedule moves up an hour-and-a-half, but we'll still be able to see each other on breaks. 

This is the boys' weekend with their Dad, quite appropriately considering it's Father's Day weekend, and Dave and I are enjoying a little bit of quiet already.  Weekends begin Wednesday night and don't end until I pick them up after work on Monday.  I can't fully figure out what to do for Dave for Father's Day though.  K is across the ocean, and my bank account is suffering, but I still want to do something special for him.  He is an amazing father to his daughter, an amazing role-model for my boys, and an amazing person altogether.  I just want him to have an amazing day.

Day 135, Post 1

Dave so greatly reminded me today that sometimes things get worse before they get better. And I needed that reminded, especially when financially things got worse today on the brink of getting better.

Ill admit, I've been playing roulette for the past couple of months in regards to what bill(s) had to be paid and which could wait. And today the gas company caught up to me. But as pissed as I am (at myself and my lack of funds), I have to remind myself of all the positives. 1) its not winter and we don't need heat 2) Dave and I both now have GOOD jobs and this is the last month of this poorness 3) the electricity is still on 4) the rent is paid.

So, now comes the struggle of figuring out how and when to get the gas turned back on. I HATE asking for help. And while you may wonder why Dave isn't paying it, ill tell you he would x's 5 if he could. But his job just started last week, and after 2 months of being unemployed, you can imagine what his bank account looks like. Sadly, mine isn't any better.

But as Monty Python sang...

Always look on the bright side of life!

I'll suck it up and ask for help one last time, knowing that next month we'll be on the up and up... Or at least our bank accounts will be. Dave, the boys and I are already well on the up and up. And it just hit me that despite the financial stresses, I really couldn't be happier. And that feels better than words can express.

DAY 129, Post 1

So there's been a few days since my last post. Why? Because I, of all people, was asked to help write the office internet policy. And one of the many topics discussed is that we're not supposed to blog. Am I surprised? No. However in the times when I don't have work to do, it would be nice to be able to jump on here and write a few lines.

Today was an amazing day, and in many ways prayers were answered. Dave got a job today and will be starting tomorrow... In the same building as me. We will work in different parts of the building, but... WoW!

We're both tired and getting ready for bed but I couldn't go to sleep without sharing the good news.

Good night and God bless!