Take me out to the ballgame! Or 30 of them?!
Baseball season for the boys has officially begun. Right now I'm in a local school gymnasium for the team and individual player pictures. Thing 2 had his pictures at 8am, and Thing 1's are at 930. While I thought about leaving to get Tim Hortons for the boys, I'm tired, comfortable, and unwilling to spend the money on food we don't need.
The boys look so cute/handsome in their uniforms though. I want to see if I can get a quick picture of both of them together without having to pay for it. I doubt it, but it would be worth a shot (no pun intended!)
CT came by and we talked yesterday. He's struggling with me being out there dating other people and I feel really bad about it. I mean, I know where he's coming from... Sort of... Because I've wondered more than once if CL-WoW has been out there. While I enjoy my time with him immensely, I worry about committing especially after my date with JW Thursday night. I had a really great time, nevermind the fact that we closed more than one establishment in town, haha.
I suppose all I can do is pray. If no other day/week has shown me the power of prayer and putting my trust in Jesus, this week has. And I know I have to do it for ALL aspects of my life. And right now, relationships (or lack thereof) are one of the areas I need the most guidance in.
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
DAY 75, Post 2
Wow... I am overjoyed right now! I got the job and I start a week from Monday! Its a 50% pay increase, 40 hours a week, and a total... I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling!
On a side note... I had a first date last night. It went GREAT and I look forward to seeing him again!
On a side note... I had a first date last night. It went GREAT and I look forward to seeing him again!
Friday, March 25, 2011
DAY 54, Post 5
I've come to the realization that my thoughts, my worries, are impossible to silence. So is, apparently, the backspace key after an evening out involving a bottle of Merlot.
I had a pleasant evening out in the company of a nice guy, but the whole time I was thinking about, and worrying about CL-WoW. Even now, bundled up in my bed with my legs wrapped around my body pillow, my thoughts remain on him. How is he doing? Is he alright? Could he use someone to talk to? Could he use a hug?
Seriously, the backspace button on my Blackberry is saving me from looking like an ass. I probably look like one anyway though. At this point, I don't really care.
I had a pleasant evening out in the company of a nice guy, but the whole time I was thinking about, and worrying about CL-WoW. Even now, bundled up in my bed with my legs wrapped around my body pillow, my thoughts remain on him. How is he doing? Is he alright? Could he use someone to talk to? Could he use a hug?
Seriously, the backspace button on my Blackberry is saving me from looking like an ass. I probably look like one anyway though. At this point, I don't really care.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
DAY 32, Post 3
Today is going to be an interesting day...
This morning at 8am I was accompanied into DH's house by a sheriff to go through MY file cabinet. Yes, MY file cabinet. DH and his attorney would not allow me to take MY files, but instead I got to leave the files that I want with DH so that he can take them to his attorney to make copies... for me... Yea, nice. It will probably cost me $3.00/copy which is f***ing ridiculous.
This afternoon at 1:30ish I have my first meeting with the GAL. I'm finishing up my paperwork right now, but I must admit I'm freaking out. I don't want to say anything wrong and risk losing custody to him. I can't/don't want to go into details about why on here as I've heard I could be sued for slander, even if what I say is the truth.
On my way to the GAL meeting I am going to stop by a Christian bookstore. For the longest time I was agnostic, however the weekend after I moved out I attended a service at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, OH. It was amazing, and if I wan't crying, I was tearing up or getting goosebumps all the way through the service. A couple of weeks later, Pastor Mike made a comment in his sermon (is that the right word) about how the trials we face now are just manure fertilizing a better future. Having had the Slingshots of Shit discussion with CL-WoW already, this just struck me as awe-inspiring. Anyway, I'm going to stop by the Christian bookstore to see if there is anything that will help me through this.
Then tonight, Ginghamsburg has a DivorceCare Ministry for adults as well as a separate one for children. I've decided the three of us NEED to go. I will not deny, I do NOT miss DH in the least. But I do have those moments of panic where I wonder "How the HELL did I wind up HERE?!?" Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my apartment. I LOVE my boys. But this whole situation is still scary for me.
CT texted me yesterday wishing me a happy birthday, and then asked later in the day how my day was going and we had a short conversation. I said my day was going better than it started and he asked if I had a new boyfriend. Obviously, I don't. However when I asked if he had picked up any new phone numbers, he insulted me GREATLY when he said, "No, I'm taking a break from you crazy f**kers." All I can still think is, "Wow." I can NOT handle that. I will NOT deal with that. I've just added another item to my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet."
This morning at 8am I was accompanied into DH's house by a sheriff to go through MY file cabinet. Yes, MY file cabinet. DH and his attorney would not allow me to take MY files, but instead I got to leave the files that I want with DH so that he can take them to his attorney to make copies... for me... Yea, nice. It will probably cost me $3.00/copy which is f***ing ridiculous.
This afternoon at 1:30ish I have my first meeting with the GAL. I'm finishing up my paperwork right now, but I must admit I'm freaking out. I don't want to say anything wrong and risk losing custody to him. I can't/don't want to go into details about why on here as I've heard I could be sued for slander, even if what I say is the truth.
On my way to the GAL meeting I am going to stop by a Christian bookstore. For the longest time I was agnostic, however the weekend after I moved out I attended a service at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, OH. It was amazing, and if I wan't crying, I was tearing up or getting goosebumps all the way through the service. A couple of weeks later, Pastor Mike made a comment in his sermon (is that the right word) about how the trials we face now are just manure fertilizing a better future. Having had the Slingshots of Shit discussion with CL-WoW already, this just struck me as awe-inspiring. Anyway, I'm going to stop by the Christian bookstore to see if there is anything that will help me through this.
Then tonight, Ginghamsburg has a DivorceCare Ministry for adults as well as a separate one for children. I've decided the three of us NEED to go. I will not deny, I do NOT miss DH in the least. But I do have those moments of panic where I wonder "How the HELL did I wind up HERE?!?" Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my apartment. I LOVE my boys. But this whole situation is still scary for me.
CT texted me yesterday wishing me a happy birthday, and then asked later in the day how my day was going and we had a short conversation. I said my day was going better than it started and he asked if I had a new boyfriend. Obviously, I don't. However when I asked if he had picked up any new phone numbers, he insulted me GREATLY when he said, "No, I'm taking a break from you crazy f**kers." All I can still think is, "Wow." I can NOT handle that. I will NOT deal with that. I've just added another item to my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet."
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
DAY 24, Post 3
Ahhhh... The joy of sitting on my butt at home after a day at work. Today's work included scrubbing the grout between the floor and cove base. It's nice and white now but damn! I could join the military with my floor scrubbing-with-a-brush skills! Too bad I can't do a pull-up... yet...
I have two... Well... Three pairs of jeans, two that I can wear to work. One I already knew were too big and required a belt. The second pair today proved that they are reaching that point as well. I NEVER thought I would be down to this weight again. I mean, I haven't been in the 150's since BEFORE I got pregnant with #1. That was 9 years ago! Woo hoo! Now I'm just going to start doing crunches and home exercises so that I keep the weight off. Anybody know of any good exercises to make legs look as good as the belly?
Tonight, and every Wednesday night, DH has the boys. They all had a meeting this afternoon with the Guardian ad Lietum (spelling?), and I wish I had been a fly on the wall to see/hear how it went. The GAL, for those of you who don't know, is an attorney appointed by the court to give his/her recommendation on who should get custody of the boys. I didn't have the money to pay my half until I was paid last week, so my initial appointment isn't until next week. DH's home visit with the boys and the GAL is next Wednesday night... My birthday. I can't say I'm necessarily disappointed about not having the boys on my birthday, but my birthday in general brings mixed feelings. I hadn't seen my 32nd year starting this way. But it's going to be a GREAT year. I won't settle for anything else.
My co-workers at CMG joke about my "Black Book." Being the outgoing person that I have become, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't get a phone number, business card or prayer from a customer. Actually, that's how C.T. and I met, haha. Last week I racked up all three, but the phone numbers weren't from people interested in dating me. The first was from a single mom on Valentine's Day who joked about how she was going to take her food home with a bottle of wine and wallow in her singleness for the night. I joked with her about how I wanted to go to the grocery and borrow their motorized cart. The business cards were from a personal trainer (I have a free training session!) and a lawyer who randomly asked me if I, or anyone else in my life, needed a prayer. I said yes, and mentioned myself and one other (for individual prayers), and he and his companion broke out in prayer in the middle of the dining room. While I appreciated the gesture, I must admit it felt rather... awkward.
To our customers who wear AXE cologne... God, you smell GOOD!
On that note, I've decided to revise and share my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet" in one of my future posts. Hope it's read and appreciated by someone worthy!
I have two... Well... Three pairs of jeans, two that I can wear to work. One I already knew were too big and required a belt. The second pair today proved that they are reaching that point as well. I NEVER thought I would be down to this weight again. I mean, I haven't been in the 150's since BEFORE I got pregnant with #1. That was 9 years ago! Woo hoo! Now I'm just going to start doing crunches and home exercises so that I keep the weight off. Anybody know of any good exercises to make legs look as good as the belly?
Tonight, and every Wednesday night, DH has the boys. They all had a meeting this afternoon with the Guardian ad Lietum (spelling?), and I wish I had been a fly on the wall to see/hear how it went. The GAL, for those of you who don't know, is an attorney appointed by the court to give his/her recommendation on who should get custody of the boys. I didn't have the money to pay my half until I was paid last week, so my initial appointment isn't until next week. DH's home visit with the boys and the GAL is next Wednesday night... My birthday. I can't say I'm necessarily disappointed about not having the boys on my birthday, but my birthday in general brings mixed feelings. I hadn't seen my 32nd year starting this way. But it's going to be a GREAT year. I won't settle for anything else.
My co-workers at CMG joke about my "Black Book." Being the outgoing person that I have become, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't get a phone number, business card or prayer from a customer. Actually, that's how C.T. and I met, haha. Last week I racked up all three, but the phone numbers weren't from people interested in dating me. The first was from a single mom on Valentine's Day who joked about how she was going to take her food home with a bottle of wine and wallow in her singleness for the night. I joked with her about how I wanted to go to the grocery and borrow their motorized cart. The business cards were from a personal trainer (I have a free training session!) and a lawyer who randomly asked me if I, or anyone else in my life, needed a prayer. I said yes, and mentioned myself and one other (for individual prayers), and he and his companion broke out in prayer in the middle of the dining room. While I appreciated the gesture, I must admit it felt rather... awkward.
To our customers who wear AXE cologne... God, you smell GOOD!
On that note, I've decided to revise and share my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet" in one of my future posts. Hope it's read and appreciated by someone worthy!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
DAY 23, Post 4
Deep sigh. My apology was heard. The photos are off my computer. I wish much happiness for us both (individually) in the future and hope that if we cross paths we can do it with a smile.
I've never walked away from ANY relationship not knowing if I would speak with the person ever again. I think that's what hurts the most. But if nothing else, he's shown me how I should be treated by my significant other, and hopefully the same was true, in a positive light.
Thank you for the memories... I'll never forget you, however... I'll go forward with fond memories and the hope we can/have forgiven each other for any hurt that was caused.
I've never walked away from ANY relationship not knowing if I would speak with the person ever again. I think that's what hurts the most. But if nothing else, he's shown me how I should be treated by my significant other, and hopefully the same was true, in a positive light.
Thank you for the memories... I'll never forget you, however... I'll go forward with fond memories and the hope we can/have forgiven each other for any hurt that was caused.
The BEST New Years Eve in My First 31 Years...
And a GREAT smile...
Whoever she is, make sure she'll drive 30 minutes to take you coffee on your 10 minute break.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
DAY FOUR - Part 4
I have to say "Thank You, Bobbie!" for this one! When telling her about my epiphany, she started saying the lyrics to this song, which I absolutely love, and have thought about many times since I heard it years ago...
If you haven't heard the song, press play...
"Stand Beside Me" ~ JoDee Messina
He left me cryin' late one Sunday night outside of Boulder
He said he had to find himself out on the road
I guess when love goes wrong
You've gotta learn to be strong
So I worked two jobs
And I moved three times
I ended up south of Memphis, workin' down in Riverside
I may not be so lucky in love
But the one thing I'm sure of
I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart
Stand beside me
Be true, don't tell lies to me
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man that who stands beside me
I didn't expect to see him, one hot July morning
His hair was longer but his eyes were the same old blue
He said, "I've missed you for so long. Oh baby, what can I do?"
I said, "I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart."
It's hard to
Tell him, "No" when I want him so bad
But I've got to be true to my heart
This time
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man who stands beside me
I want a man
Who stands beside me
Stand beside me........
Stand beside me........
If you haven't heard the song, press play...
"Stand Beside Me" ~ JoDee Messina
He left me cryin' late one Sunday night outside of Boulder
He said he had to find himself out on the road
I guess when love goes wrong
You've gotta learn to be strong
So I worked two jobs
And I moved three times
I ended up south of Memphis, workin' down in Riverside
I may not be so lucky in love
But the one thing I'm sure of
I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart
Stand beside me
Be true, don't tell lies to me
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man that who stands beside me
I didn't expect to see him, one hot July morning
His hair was longer but his eyes were the same old blue
He said, "I've missed you for so long. Oh baby, what can I do?"
I said, "I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart."
It's hard to
Tell him, "No" when I want him so bad
But I've got to be true to my heart
This time
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man who stands beside me
I want a man
Who stands beside me
Stand beside me........
Stand beside me........
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