DAY 32, Post 3

Today is going to be an interesting day...

This morning at 8am I was accompanied into DH's house by a sheriff to go through MY file cabinet.  Yes, MY file cabinet.  DH and his attorney would not allow me to take MY files, but instead I got to leave the files that I want with DH so that he can take them to his attorney to make copies...  for me...  Yea, nice.  It will probably cost me $3.00/copy which is f***ing ridiculous.

This afternoon at 1:30ish I have my first meeting with the GAL.  I'm finishing up my paperwork right now, but I must admit I'm freaking out.  I don't want to say anything wrong and risk losing custody to him.  I can't/don't want to go into details about why on here as I've heard I could be sued for slander, even if what I say is the truth.

On my way to the GAL meeting I am going to stop by a Christian bookstore.  For the longest time I was agnostic, however the weekend after I moved out I attended a service at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, OH.  It was amazing, and if I wan't crying, I was tearing up or getting goosebumps all the way through the service.  A couple of weeks later, Pastor Mike made a comment in his sermon (is that the right word) about how the trials we face now are just manure fertilizing a better future.  Having had the Slingshots of Shit discussion with CL-WoW already, this just struck me as awe-inspiring.  Anyway, I'm going to stop by the Christian bookstore to see if there is anything that will help me through this.

Then tonight, Ginghamsburg has a DivorceCare Ministry for adults as well as a separate one for children.  I've decided the three of us NEED to go.  I will not deny, I do NOT miss DH in the least.  But I do have those moments of panic where I wonder "How the HELL did I wind up HERE?!?"  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my apartment.  I LOVE my boys.  But this whole situation is still scary for me.

CT texted me yesterday wishing me a happy birthday, and then asked later in the day how my day was going and we had a short conversation.  I said my day was going better than it started and he asked if I had a new boyfriend.  Obviously, I don't.  However when I asked if he had picked up any new phone numbers, he insulted me GREATLY when he said, "No, I'm taking a break from you crazy f**kers."  All I can still think is, "Wow."  I can NOT handle that.  I will NOT deal with that.  I've just added another item to my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet."