Yea, another 2am post. I fell asleep with Thing 2 in his bed last night and woke up 15 minutes ago feeling incredibly selfish. Why? Because I want to spend time with somebody on my birthday. And I know he has stuff he wants/needs to be focusing on and it's not me... Right now.
I don't know that it WILL ever be me again. And I feel like a hypocrite. I have that "Focus on what you NEED! Not what you want..." sign on my monitor and I'm not allowing him to do that. I want to be there for him, but... I don't want to make him angry by asking for time away from what he NEEDS to be focusing on. Even if I'm only trying to do it as a friend.
His birthday is coming up too. March 19. Another Pisces. I'd LOVE to celebrate that day with him. Start year #31 off right and with a smile and laughter. Way back when I had taken the day off work. I never gave it back. But that's HIS day, and I hope he finds everything he's looking for on it. And I hope "K" is still in town to celebrate it with him. (That's all I will say about "K.")
I won't deny that I have ideas about a birthday Cross County Care Package. However seeing as I woke up to my internet not working, possibly because I haven't paid the bill, it's hard to justify spending a penny on someone besides the boys and I. BUT, I'm a giving person. And even if I don't do the package, or don't do it in the way I would have liked, the thought it there. And it's the thought that counts, right? Or so society has taught us...
The thought IS there... Constantly.
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