DAY 43, Post 4

Almost a month ago I posted a bunch of Mini-Goals for the month.  I decided it's time to evaluate my progress and set new goals for next month...

1. Get an oil change for my car.  It's overdue and I've been neglecting it due to money. DID IT!
2. Inquire about design jobs.  I may not like working at a desk all day, but I'd rather do that than give up my nights and weekends being bossed around by kids 10 years younger than me. I've been looking for jobs, but haven't been focusing on only interior design.  So far, I haven't found anything, but I'm not giving up.
3. Buy some paint and start the S.O.S. collection.  Due to money I wasn't able to do this...  This month...
4. Keep my apartment clean and start throwing out clutter. Eh...  I tried...
5. Turn off the lights and TV every night.  Yea, I must admit my electricity bill is inflated because turning off the lights and TV makes me lonely. The lights have definitely been turned off more than they were last month, but I need to get better at this still...
6. Make a wreath for my front door with my boys.  Due to money we didn't do this either...
7. Start cooking actual meals.  Eating CMG and only CMG is not good for me.  Eh...  I cooked more this month, but I didn't make as much progress as I had hoped.
8. Read every night, both to the boys and to myself. I've read the Bible quite a bit, but I need to be better about reading to the boys.
9. Following up on #8, work on paying of the library tab, haha. Yea...  Didn't happen...
10. Knit 10 more blocks for my blanket. Didn't even finish one more...  But I started!
11. Buy a new board or card game for my boys once a month and make a point of playing a game every night with them.  We bought UNO this month but only played a couple of times.
12. Positive visualization  I've decided to eliminate drama-filled people from my life, and stay positive.  The visualization isn't necessarily up to me.

So for next month...

1. Keep on job searching. 
2. Scrapbook!  I've got most of my inventory back, and it's about time I use some of this stuff for my personal use! 
3. Keep my apartment clean and start throwing out clutter.
4. Turn off the lights and TV every night.  Yea, I must admit my electricity bill is inflated because turning off the lights and TV makes me lonely.
5. Cook a real meal every night that I have the boys.
6. Read every night, both to the boys and to myself.
7. Knit 3 more blocks for my blanket....  Let's be realistic this month!
8. Buy a new board or card game for my boys once a month and make a point of playing a game every night with them.

DAY 32, Post 3

Today is going to be an interesting day...

This morning at 8am I was accompanied into DH's house by a sheriff to go through MY file cabinet.  Yes, MY file cabinet.  DH and his attorney would not allow me to take MY files, but instead I got to leave the files that I want with DH so that he can take them to his attorney to make copies...  for me...  Yea, nice.  It will probably cost me $3.00/copy which is f***ing ridiculous.

This afternoon at 1:30ish I have my first meeting with the GAL.  I'm finishing up my paperwork right now, but I must admit I'm freaking out.  I don't want to say anything wrong and risk losing custody to him.  I can't/don't want to go into details about why on here as I've heard I could be sued for slander, even if what I say is the truth.

On my way to the GAL meeting I am going to stop by a Christian bookstore.  For the longest time I was agnostic, however the weekend after I moved out I attended a service at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, OH.  It was amazing, and if I wan't crying, I was tearing up or getting goosebumps all the way through the service.  A couple of weeks later, Pastor Mike made a comment in his sermon (is that the right word) about how the trials we face now are just manure fertilizing a better future.  Having had the Slingshots of Shit discussion with CL-WoW already, this just struck me as awe-inspiring.  Anyway, I'm going to stop by the Christian bookstore to see if there is anything that will help me through this.

Then tonight, Ginghamsburg has a DivorceCare Ministry for adults as well as a separate one for children.  I've decided the three of us NEED to go.  I will not deny, I do NOT miss DH in the least.  But I do have those moments of panic where I wonder "How the HELL did I wind up HERE?!?"  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my apartment.  I LOVE my boys.  But this whole situation is still scary for me.

CT texted me yesterday wishing me a happy birthday, and then asked later in the day how my day was going and we had a short conversation.  I said my day was going better than it started and he asked if I had a new boyfriend.  Obviously, I don't.  However when I asked if he had picked up any new phone numbers, he insulted me GREATLY when he said, "No, I'm taking a break from you crazy f**kers."  All I can still think is, "Wow."  I can NOT handle that.  I will NOT deal with that.  I've just added another item to my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet."

DAY EIGHT, Part 3

THANK YOU to my dear friend Amber, a fellow Pisces, for letting me wallow today and for a great conversation which showed me the direction that I should be going in, rather than staying in the stagnant place I have been settling in...

 I am going to start painting again when I either 1) get my oil paints, canvasses and easels back from DH, or 2) have money to buy new paints, canvasses and an easel.

I shared with her my "Slingshots of Shit" theory, and she suggested that my collection be called S.O.S.  I agree.  So, my first paintings will be based on some of the happenings in my life.  Of course I'll be posting pictures as these paintings are completed, but in the meantime, donations will be accepted for the purchase of my art supplies!  :-)