So, for the time being, my blog is private. A LOT has happened in the past week, and after a stint in the hospital yesterday I realized with no uncertainty that I have NOT been focused on what I needed to be focused on, especially my health.
I'm down to 148 pounds now, not a place I should have gotten to the way I did. Lack of eating and way too much worrying about things and people I couldn't help. After throwing up, starting to shake and nearly passing out at work, I went to the hospital where the doctor told me there is a bad virus going through town. But come on. I know more than she does. I NEED to be taking care of me. Now's the time (not that it wasn't three months or 32 years ago) to be honest with myself... And others...
Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to hurt people with my honesty. But I have to enter this next part of my life doing what I know to be the right thing to do. Right morally, right ethically, and right personally for me and my boys.
Tonight I am having dinner with JTS, my neighbor (will you give me permission to use your first name? Haha), and then I hope to go to Ash Wednesday service at Ginghamsburg. I've spent a lot of time in the last two days praying. Praying for God to give me strength and guide me into a better tomorrow. I know there's something better in store for me, but I wish I knew what it was and what all I'm doing now is preparing me for. Patience is a virtue though, and I suppose I need to hold my horses.
I need to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who helped me for the past two days, both emotionally and physically. YOU are my rock.
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