DAY 42, Post 2

I'm feeling a little bit like a Mercy Me song I've been listening to...

"I'm finding myself
At a loss for words
And the funny thing is
It's ok."
~Word of God Speak

This past week was interesting...  Good, bad, easy, difficult, funny, sad, etc.  I really don't know what, if anything, I could say about it.

Entertaining enough, however, was work yesterday.  The hot water heater broke, again, so the restaurant had to shut down for a bit at 3:30ish.  I was off at 4, however, so it didn't impact me.  I hadn't gotten a break, so I helped reduce some of the inventory before they had to throw it out by eating before leaving.  While I was eating, the evening shift crew started cleaning, preparing for a solid close.  One of the workers was cleaning the fryer (I think) and the next thing I knew, I heard yelling and saw flames, small flames, coming from the fryer.  It's funny how some people, including myself, don't know how to put out a grease fire.  Luckily someone knew and threw salt on the flames.

Tonight I tried out the Singles Group at Ginghamsburg.  I was younger than everyone else by about 15 years and for me that was sort of difficult.  I can't explain it, but to say I was looking for people closer to my age who would know what I'm going through.  While some of them knew and understood, I just felt...  Awkward.  I decided to leave at "Intermission" and come home.

CT and I hung out for the past two nights, and Julie helped me organize my inventory on Friday night.  Thank you, Julie!  I made pasta on Friday night for CT and I, and I have to say that a highlight of the evening was the pasta readiness test...  After we had already eaten.  There is a secret to throwing pasta, and sometimes it sticks better than others.

Right now I'm watching the portion of Star Trek (the movie) that I slept through last night.  We started off the night with Jackass 3 and pizza from Cassanos (thank you, Bronco!!), but I just couldn't last through a second movie.  I don't think I've ever been able to last through two movies.  Jackass 3, by the way, is hilarious, but also gag-inducing.  I'm just glad the boys didn't see it.  I don't even want to think about the crazy ideas they would get watching it.

Now, I think it's laundry time for me.  So much to fold, and I believe a clean apartment would make me feel better.  Unfortunately all the scrapbooking supplies I recovered are taking up a huge amount of space.

DAY 33, Post 4

What an AMAZING night! And day for that matter!

Two of my parents are on their way in to see me and the boys and I will be thrilled to see them in the morning.

Tonight, the boys, my friend Ashley, neighbor JTS and I enjoyed a great night of pizza and conversation.

Ashley didn't leave until after midnight, and I am proud to say that, as she said on her Facebook page, tonight a friend became a sister.

I am at peace tonight, and despite all the wrong I have been complaining about, I now go forward ready to embrace the challenges ahead in a new light. My separation/upcoming divorce has opened a brand new door for me, and through that door I can see who my true friends are, as well as reconnect with all the people (friends and family) who I have not been able to in such a long time. When one door closes another door opens, and I am more than excited to see what's in store behind Door Number 2!

DAY 28, Post 2

Hmmm... I didn't want to go to work today... AT ALL. I wanted to sleep in and get lost in my dreams. Honestly, I'm looking forward to going to bed early tonight and getting all cozy in my bed with my body pillow.

I've done a lot of thinking during the past couple of days. About letting go, and going separate ways. Honestly, if you really care about someone, in any way, I don't think going separate ways should ever be up for discussion. So this isn't working for me. But... I'm trying. And for me, it's trying really hard. I'm working on the sweater right now. The sweater was never meant to be mine. It's not mine. It's his. And I want to finish it, green sleeve and all.

DAY 25, Post 2

Last night I was feeling GREAT, and right now I'm feeling good, however somewhere in the middle I had a little lapse.  Let's call it a "How the hell did I get here?!?" moment.  I sat here in my empty apartment, looking around, wondering how I wound up...  Here...  I had a momentary lapse in thought, thinking, "Please, God.  Take me back in time."  Six weeks, six months, I wondered if I could wake up in a moment where I could do things differently.  Yes, I even thought about my marriage.

But do I want my marriage again?  No!  Absolutely not!

And then sleep rescued me.  A nice, rare, dreamless sleep.

I woke this morning to find my "Note From the Universe" waiting in my email in-box...

"Hey, Kimberly, don't you see? The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax.

Zip, Zap, Zop,
The Universe"

And even though my eyes were open, I actually woke up.  I relaxed enough on Tuesday to get a job interview for next week.  (Yay for me!)  So now I tell myself, "Come on, Kim!  Relax!  All those things you are waiting for will come to you!  Just stop worrying, relax, and live in the moment!"

DAY 24, Post 2

My friend E.W. put this up as her Facebook status this morning, and I LOVE it!...

"If life hands you lemons...MAKE orange juice and leave people wondering how the heck you did it! Dare to be different - Be Amazing!"

In the past year I've experienced more than a lot of people experience in five...

• Loss of three family members
• Mom had a stroke
• Separated from spouse
• Moved
• Started a new job
• Moved my business out of my home and into an office
• Shut down my business of five years due to separation/divorce and money constraints
• Was offered another job which won't start because it sounds like the company is folding
• Met a great man and had two AMAZING months where I...
• Learned what TO EXPECT from a significant other
• Learned what to NOT ACCEPT from a significant other
• Lost nearly 60 pounds
• Started down the road of discovering who I am

So, lemons, I've gotcha.  But f*** lemonade.  It's too sour for me.  I'm going to make Orange Strawberry Banana juice, because I'm looking for some sweetness in my life.