Do Your Laundry

As I climbed into bed last night I could help but to think about how simple things, like crawling into my own bed each night, can be taken for granted.  From there I began to think about the other earthly pleasures I take for granted, most of them on a daily basis.

Why did I have such thoughts?

Here's why...

Pretty much unrecognizable, that's a clothes dryer in the middle of the picture, next to the chair.  Or should I say a charred dryer next to a charred chair?

Upon arriving home from church yesterday, Dave, the boys and I were welcomed by firetrucks and a Red Cross van in our driveway.  Three apartments down, a young mother had put her daughters down for a nap, and walked out of their room into a cloud of black smoke coming out of the dryer.  She opened the door and flames burst out at her.  From there, the fire spread around the apartment, and between the flames and the smoke, the possessions they held dear were destroyed.

No clothes.

No furniture.

No toys.

No... Anything...

Dave and I pulled together a couple bags of clothes for her and her fiance and I was able to find a few baby blankets left over from my boys for her 5 month old.  And Thing 2 brought tears to her eyes when he presented her with a stuffed elephant for her 2 year old.  But I went to bed wanting to be able to do more.

As I lay down to sleep, however, it truly hit me how much they lost.  Everything must be re-acquired.  From a cup to drink out of to toothbrushes and towels.  Baby clothes and diapers, and a chair to sit on.  Wow.

I seem to be full of pleas for my readers (if I have any) lately, but here's a couple more...

1.  Check out dryer vents and lint traps regularly.  Your lint trap should be emptied before EVERY load.  A clogged vent can not only cause clothes to not by dried in one cycle, but can burn out your heating element, or worse, start a fire.  If you rent, ask your landlord to clean your vent at least once a year.

2.  Invest in renter's insurance.  If you own your home, your home owner's insurance would cover a disaster such as this.  However if you rent, you need to cover yourself.  And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't cost that much.  Geico, for instance, charges approximately $40/month.  Does that sound like a lot?  Think about EVERYTHING you'd need to replace if your apartment burnt down.  Yea...

Day 323

I've come to the realization that I do NOT like slow days at work. While some people may enjoy the fact that they can theoretically do what they want, I find my eyes wanting to close, and myself endlessly daydreaming about what I'd rather be doing. I like being busy. No, I don't like getting down to the wire with tasks that need to be done, but I really enjoy having a stream of projects to work on.

The boys have been with their dad since Wednesday and do not come home to Dave and I until Christmas Day (Sunday) at 3pm. I miss them. We enjoy the quiet, don't get me wrong, however... After a day or so it's almost too quiet.

Dave can't wait to give me my Christmas presents, and I can't wait to see Dave and the boys open theirs. The materialistic aura around Christmas continues to trouble me, however I love to give. Honestly, I have everything I could possibly want. If there were no presents under the tree for me, I would be perfectly ok with that.

Alright, I am going to move on to pretending I'm working on something else...  In all reality, I'm probably listening to Tony Robbins and trying to develop a way to become financially successful.  :-)

Day 310

I'm out of the office on lunch and it occurred to me that I haven't updated the blog lately.


My silence has been the result of extreme happiness and hard work. Dave, the boys and I are all happy and healthy, and we are gearing up for Christmas. I've been trying to impress upon the boys this Christmas season what the true meaning of the holiday is. It's not about what we get, but about what we have and why we have it.


But I won't deny that's difficult. With a six-year-old (and nine-year-old) in the house, visions of Santa with a bag of presents are very prominent.


We have made K-Love, a national Christian radio station, a fixture in our lives, and I heard on it yesterday that the average PERSON (not couple, family, etc.) spends $700/year on Christmas presents.  I let out an audible "phooooooo."  $700/year...  That's essentially rent for a month for us.  So here I am trying to figure out how to make Christmas great on maybe $300, and I hear that the average person spends $700.  So if you're reading this, I challenge you to remember what Christmas is really about, and try to focus on that instead.


Dave asked me over the weekend what I want for Christmas and my response (after telling him - him), was a new coffee cup.  Yes, that's all I want.  A new travel mug that doesn't leak when I try to take a sip out of it.  But I guess I never cease to surprise him.  I know he knows I'm not materialistic, but at the time of the year when most people send out mile long Christmas-lists with hundreds of dollars of ideas that they'll probably never use, I choose to be real.  And even when I stretch my brain, I can't think of anything else I want for Christmas.


We found a new church in August that we've been attending, Grace Baptist, and we love how their focus in not on what the church needs financially, but when they do talk about money, it's about how we can help the missionaries or other organizations that need money.  Our family decided to help out Operation Christmas Child (I think that's what it's called), after we heard about what children on the other side of the world have to do without.  While I was able to buy my boys each a 24-box of Crayons for $.50, on the other side of the globe, children go without because crayons cost $5.00... and the average monthly income is $2.00.  Children in Africa need to follow a food truck once a week in order to get fed, and because they lack bowls or cups, they drop the hot oatmeal (or whatever they're served) out of their hands and onto the road...  And they end up eating it off the road.


So how can I ask for anything more than a coffee cup, when there are children living like this?

Day 170, Post 1

I'll start with a little bit about optimism and keeping a positive attitude.  This weekend was hindered by a dark cloud that I won't really get into, however I'm amazed by the positive attitude that some can keep, despite the rolling thunderstorms that seem to pop up on a random, unpredictable schedule.  While some people in my life have an amazing (and to me un-admirable) ability to pick out all that doesn't work in their lives, those that pick out the good when the thunderstorms roll in have my support through anything.  I certainly don't want or intend to be a fair weather friend, however those who can keep their chins up and keep smiling give me so much more hope about my own abilities to work through the storms in my life.  So keep it, lovely.  Keep smiling.  Keep laughing.  I love you and I'll be there for you through it all.

Moving on...

Being in love, and I mean REALLY in love, has made me feel almost bad for laughing...  er, scoffing... at lines in movies when the actors said how love felt.  Take Sleepless in Seattle for example.  Tom Hanks' character says that when he and his deceased wife would touch it would feel like *magic*.  I remember rolling my eyes at this line numerous times.  "Yea, right." I would think.  Love can't possibly feel like that.  But folks, it does.  And I'm in awe to actually be able to experience it for myself.  I never imagined being with someone who would give me butterflies anytime I thought of him, and even more so whenever I see him.  Someone who makes my arm tingle when he touches it, and makes me feel beautiful..  all the time...

I hope you all can feel this type of love someday if you don't already have it.  To me, being able to give you this would be the best gift possible.  Unfortunately I don't fly around in a diaper with wings on my back and a bow and arrow in my hand.  But if I see cupid and know you're looking I'll send him your way.

DAY 137, Post 1

I think the hardest part of my job is knowing what to do when I have nothing to do.  Right now is obviously one of those moments.  At no previous job has my desk ever been cleaner than my desk is right now.  Is there clutter on it?  Yes.  But only of the kind that my co-workers need and I can't put in a drawer that may be locked when they go to get it.  So...  The Franklin Covey puncher for organizer pages stays on my desk, taking up a valuable two-square-feet..

A definite perk of this job is the plethora of K-Cup options for the Keurig machine in the break rooms.  With probably a minimum of 20 flavors, I've been able to try my tongue at them without having to buy a whole box at the grocery store.  At $7.99/box, I would hate to get a box home and discover upon the first sip that I detest the flavor.  Thanks to Dave and his sweet tooth, I've started putting sugar in my coffee again and have been able to stomach every flavor the break room has to offer.

And the highlights of my job?!  The continued ability to have lunch with Dave every day.  And today we carpooled.  (Can it be considered carpooling when we only drive a quarter-mile at most to work?)  Unfortunately the lunches and carpooling will stop next week when his schedule moves up an hour-and-a-half, but we'll still be able to see each other on breaks. 

This is the boys' weekend with their Dad, quite appropriately considering it's Father's Day weekend, and Dave and I are enjoying a little bit of quiet already.  Weekends begin Wednesday night and don't end until I pick them up after work on Monday.  I can't fully figure out what to do for Dave for Father's Day though.  K is across the ocean, and my bank account is suffering, but I still want to do something special for him.  He is an amazing father to his daughter, an amazing role-model for my boys, and an amazing person altogether.  I just want him to have an amazing day.

DAY 70, Post 2

I only have a few minutes before I need to get ready for work.  Today I work 8-4.  I clearly upset my General Manager yesterday when he saw the note that I had updated my availability for work.  He came to ask me about not being able to work on Sundays, and I stated to him that the church has asked me to help out.  While I haven't written about it on here before, the church has contacted me to assist in the Children's Ministry, particularly in the childcare rooms during services.  I would be honored.  But I can't (personally)commit unless I know that I will not have to work on Sundays.  It would be unfair for them to count on me unless I can commit to not working on Sundays.  And seeing as I had been thinking about it for some time anyway, I think it's the right thing to do.  As Christians we aren't supposed to work on Sundays anyway, so what better way to "work" then to help out at my church?

I've spent the last hour scouring the internet for jobs and luckily found a couple to apply for.  While for the most part I like the people I work with at my job, the pay and hours really aren't working for me.  And having a four year degree, I am really concerned that I will get trapped in the minimum-wage restaurant track if I don't make a change soon.  I'm grateful that I've made it the three months I have there so far though.  Seriously, the job is MUCH more intense than I ever expected.

While looking for a new job, I've also been giving a lot of thought to going back to college.  I'm debating between education and therapy/counseling as far as majors go, and I will continue to think about it, probably until the fall.  Both of my moms went back to school later in life, and both went back after the age of 32, so I can wait a bit longer until I figure out if this is my calling.  The thought of taking out more student loans continues to be troubling to me, but pursuing a career in interior design/architecture is proving to be difficult, especially due to the geographic constraints imposed by the divorce.  And there is no way I will move out of the area and lose time with my boys.  NO way.

DAY 62, Post 4

My evening thinking session has started early today, thanks to the March 28, 2011 "Our Daily Bread" article which I caught up on today.  A couple sections especially got to me...

Love is not blind but looks

Abroad through others' eyes,

And asks not, "Must I give?"

But, "May I sacrifice?" -Ziegler

Yea, I am approaching this quote first because it's easier for me to discuss.   I've done a lot lately, not because I felt I must give, but because I felt there were things I could myself sacrifice to do something for others.  And I did.  And no, love is not blind.  Sometimes, however, love gives the false impression that you can see clearly when actually you can't.  You can't always see what you're doing clearly, and unfortunately giving sometimes means hurting, both someone else and yourself.  Why someone else?  Because they can't give in return.  Which is where the rest comes in...

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

not looking to your own interests

but each of you to the interests of the others.

-Philippians 2:3-4

I cannot deny for a second that a lot of my giving and sacrificing had selfish intents.  And I was looking to my own interests and not to the interests of others.  And after having read this I am feeling REALLY bad.  Like horribly bad.  Because I can't walk in anyone's shoes but my own, and while I would gladly walk in someone else's shoes to remove some of the stress, scariness, uncomfortableness, etc., those shoes are not mine and will not fit.  I can't walk on their shoes, but can only be asked to walk beside them, which I haven't been.  And, I won't deny that I've wanted that invitation.

BUT, I must also say, that I do wish I could help.  More than anything, I wish I could be Mary Poppins and snap my fingers to clean up the messes.  That would be a wonderful day.  But I'm not Mary Poppins.  I'm a 32-year old single-mother of two working a (basically) minimum wage job to pay my bills.  And they're not even all getting paid (on-time).  And somehow I need to focus on cleaning up my own messes, even if they are not the ones I want to focus on.  Because, how can I help anyone else if I don't have my rent paid, gas, water and electric paid for, a job, or food in my kitchen for me and my boys?