I'm not feeling it today. I've turned to my Bible and prayer notebook to try to find refuge from all of my thoughts. But it's not working.
I have so many "why" questions on my mind, but I know I can't ask for or search for answers. When they are ready to present themselves they will. But God, I wish the answers would present themselves sooner rather than later.
This will be an... Interesting... Week... It will be my last full week at CMG as my job at AH starts a week from Monday. And next weekend I'll have some real furniture in my apartment finally, thanks to Mom and Aunt Flushy. AND... Next Sunday is my re-affirmation at Ginghamsburg.
Today was a rough day. Check out how I described an experience at the park in an email...
"I took the boys and Penny to the park today after church and I sat there reading my Bible... And then I heard (Thing 2) scream. He came running at me with a bloody nose and dirt and mulch all over his back.
"Some kid (and you better believe I let him and the adults he was with have it) told (Thing 2) he needed to make a sacrifice for him. A sacrifice,... What the hell does a child (Thing 2's) age or even (Thing 1's) age know about the word "sacrifice"?
"But the conversation in the car shocked me. (Thing 1) asked me what the word sacrifice means, and (Thing 2) said "to get hurt so someone else doesn't have to." I guess (Thing 2) has been listening at church when Pastor Mike says that Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross for all of our sins."
The rest of this email doesn't help with my current attitude or my thought pattern today. I'll leave this post at that.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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