DAY 16, Part 2

Wow... I guess it takes a truly nice (although somewhat messed up, haha) person to make me realize how truly fucked up other people are. I just asked my friend Chris to have lunch with me on my birthday so I would have something to look forward to (and I'll pay, haha) and not only did he say yes but he said he would take the day off from work. I must add that I said I didn't want him to take the day off from work because he, like me, needs the money, but really!?! He would do that!?! (His response to me saying I didn't want him to take the day off was "Why not? I can take a vacation day and still get paid.". Hmmmm...)

DH never took my birthday off, never offered to take my birthday off, and two years ago, on my 30th birthday, didn't even wish me a Happy Birthday because he was mad at me for some stupid reason or another. I didn't get my birthday present or "happy birthday" for three days...

Following up on my earlier post from today, I think I have to put the horse to sleep. It's unfortunate that some people don't want to see the good in others, even when she truly cares about him and wants to make sure he's ok. With all the shit I've been going through, I'm embarrassed now that I've been more worried about the horse's ailments than my own. So, fuck you, horse. You've given up something great. The grass is always greener somewhere, but I'm afraid it will be hard if not impossible to find greener than me. Oh, and I want the back of the sweater and coffee mug returned. If I can't get a return email or text when I write I care and/or worry about you, then no woman should knit you a sweater or drive 30 minutes for a 10 minute coffee break with you. I cared, to the point that I cried at work today, but the hell with you. You obviously were not who I thought you were and I was a fool to care about you.

Ahhh... Sorry to the rest of you. If you know me, then undoubtedly you know who I'm talking about. (Yes, jerk. I shared my feelings for you with others.) But damn, I feel better. I know he'll never read the above, because he doesn't care, but if by chance he does read it, I hope (and you know it's not like me to say this) it hurts like he hurt me.

Two minutes later...

I've deleted the number and texts (again) from my phone. He knows where I live, (as I do him), but should he ever want to apologize (sincerely) it will take a drive here and some major groveling. I'm done contacting him. Ill forgive in time, but forget, no. I don't think you can forget how much you cared for someone, especially when it wasn't reciprocal.

2011 will be a GREAT year... For ME...