Well, today could be the day! And although I'm overwhelmingly excited about that possibility, I'm starting to feel very nervous. Honestly, I don't know what to do with myself.
I've written my list of wants, which I will give to my attorney as a reminder when I get there. And I hope that what I can get is somewhere close. The most important thing on the list, is something I really can't ask for, but I would like for him to not harass me anymore. It's becoming an ongoing issue, especially when he attends every single sporting event/practice for the boys, including on the days/weekends when I have the boys. I should note, however, that not only does he attend, but he sits right next to me. OK, not right next to me, but only leaving space for the kids between us. And he watches my every move.
I started my own personal counseling this morning. It was very personal, however I'm hoping to get a lot out of it. So far my therapist seems very communicative, which is definitely better than a couple of my past therapists. The type that just sits there and doesn't say a word doesn't do anything for me. I need to be pushed. I need to be challenged. And I hope to get this from her.
I weighed myself on the Wii balance board yesterday. It had me at 141 pounds. Yikes. Or Yay? I don't really know what to think. The funny thing is, the Wii said my ideal weight is 140 pounds. I haven't weighed 140 (or 141) pounds since I graduated college. And while I think I look great, I'm growing frustrated with having to buy new clothes. My favorite bra doesn't even fit anymore. Who would've known that boobs would shrink?
Showing posts with label Exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Exercise. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
DAY 40, Post 2
What a difference a couple of days makes!
I'm up at 2am, and for once it's not because I woke up thinking about too much. Actually, CT graced me with a phone call after work, and I have to say, I enjoy having friends who work 2nd shift. Having someone to talk to in the dead of the night is REALLY great!
Anyway, he made me terribly hungry while making himself a breakfast burrito, and I made myself a ridiculous plate of Pizza Rolls. Ridiculous meaning like thirty of them... Drenched in Smoked Tobasco Sauce... Mmmm... It's WONDERFUL to be eating again!
Did I mention that the hospital weighed me when I was in triage the other night? 148.1. Yea. Not good. If I lose any more I want it to be because I'm exercising and doing activities that are good for me. NOT due to stressing out and not eating.
I'm entering this weekend with plans already, and it feels great to know my weekend doesn't revolve around work. Tomorrow night I'll be scrapbooking (in some way or another) with Julie, and then I'm making dinner for CT and I. (Julie, if you read this - you and J are invited!) Then... I get to SLEEP IN on Saturday morning before having to work from 11-4. I am happy to be able to go to church on Saturday after work... Pending they let me out on time. I guess I'll have to see.
I'm up at 2am, and for once it's not because I woke up thinking about too much. Actually, CT graced me with a phone call after work, and I have to say, I enjoy having friends who work 2nd shift. Having someone to talk to in the dead of the night is REALLY great!
Anyway, he made me terribly hungry while making himself a breakfast burrito, and I made myself a ridiculous plate of Pizza Rolls. Ridiculous meaning like thirty of them... Drenched in Smoked Tobasco Sauce... Mmmm... It's WONDERFUL to be eating again!
CT's Breakfast Burrito (picture messaged to me... to make me jealous, I think)
Here's what was left of my pizza rolls when I was full...
I'm entering this weekend with plans already, and it feels great to know my weekend doesn't revolve around work. Tomorrow night I'll be scrapbooking (in some way or another) with Julie, and then I'm making dinner for CT and I. (Julie, if you read this - you and J are invited!) Then... I get to SLEEP IN on Saturday morning before having to work from 11-4. I am happy to be able to go to church on Saturday after work... Pending they let me out on time. I guess I'll have to see.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
DAY 24, Post 3
Ahhhh... The joy of sitting on my butt at home after a day at work. Today's work included scrubbing the grout between the floor and cove base. It's nice and white now but damn! I could join the military with my floor scrubbing-with-a-brush skills! Too bad I can't do a pull-up... yet...
I have two... Well... Three pairs of jeans, two that I can wear to work. One I already knew were too big and required a belt. The second pair today proved that they are reaching that point as well. I NEVER thought I would be down to this weight again. I mean, I haven't been in the 150's since BEFORE I got pregnant with #1. That was 9 years ago! Woo hoo! Now I'm just going to start doing crunches and home exercises so that I keep the weight off. Anybody know of any good exercises to make legs look as good as the belly?
Tonight, and every Wednesday night, DH has the boys. They all had a meeting this afternoon with the Guardian ad Lietum (spelling?), and I wish I had been a fly on the wall to see/hear how it went. The GAL, for those of you who don't know, is an attorney appointed by the court to give his/her recommendation on who should get custody of the boys. I didn't have the money to pay my half until I was paid last week, so my initial appointment isn't until next week. DH's home visit with the boys and the GAL is next Wednesday night... My birthday. I can't say I'm necessarily disappointed about not having the boys on my birthday, but my birthday in general brings mixed feelings. I hadn't seen my 32nd year starting this way. But it's going to be a GREAT year. I won't settle for anything else.
My co-workers at CMG joke about my "Black Book." Being the outgoing person that I have become, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't get a phone number, business card or prayer from a customer. Actually, that's how C.T. and I met, haha. Last week I racked up all three, but the phone numbers weren't from people interested in dating me. The first was from a single mom on Valentine's Day who joked about how she was going to take her food home with a bottle of wine and wallow in her singleness for the night. I joked with her about how I wanted to go to the grocery and borrow their motorized cart. The business cards were from a personal trainer (I have a free training session!) and a lawyer who randomly asked me if I, or anyone else in my life, needed a prayer. I said yes, and mentioned myself and one other (for individual prayers), and he and his companion broke out in prayer in the middle of the dining room. While I appreciated the gesture, I must admit it felt rather... awkward.
To our customers who wear AXE cologne... God, you smell GOOD!
On that note, I've decided to revise and share my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet" in one of my future posts. Hope it's read and appreciated by someone worthy!
I have two... Well... Three pairs of jeans, two that I can wear to work. One I already knew were too big and required a belt. The second pair today proved that they are reaching that point as well. I NEVER thought I would be down to this weight again. I mean, I haven't been in the 150's since BEFORE I got pregnant with #1. That was 9 years ago! Woo hoo! Now I'm just going to start doing crunches and home exercises so that I keep the weight off. Anybody know of any good exercises to make legs look as good as the belly?
Tonight, and every Wednesday night, DH has the boys. They all had a meeting this afternoon with the Guardian ad Lietum (spelling?), and I wish I had been a fly on the wall to see/hear how it went. The GAL, for those of you who don't know, is an attorney appointed by the court to give his/her recommendation on who should get custody of the boys. I didn't have the money to pay my half until I was paid last week, so my initial appointment isn't until next week. DH's home visit with the boys and the GAL is next Wednesday night... My birthday. I can't say I'm necessarily disappointed about not having the boys on my birthday, but my birthday in general brings mixed feelings. I hadn't seen my 32nd year starting this way. But it's going to be a GREAT year. I won't settle for anything else.
My co-workers at CMG joke about my "Black Book." Being the outgoing person that I have become, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't get a phone number, business card or prayer from a customer. Actually, that's how C.T. and I met, haha. Last week I racked up all three, but the phone numbers weren't from people interested in dating me. The first was from a single mom on Valentine's Day who joked about how she was going to take her food home with a bottle of wine and wallow in her singleness for the night. I joked with her about how I wanted to go to the grocery and borrow their motorized cart. The business cards were from a personal trainer (I have a free training session!) and a lawyer who randomly asked me if I, or anyone else in my life, needed a prayer. I said yes, and mentioned myself and one other (for individual prayers), and he and his companion broke out in prayer in the middle of the dining room. While I appreciated the gesture, I must admit it felt rather... awkward.
To our customers who wear AXE cologne... God, you smell GOOD!
On that note, I've decided to revise and share my "Soul Mate Spec Sheet" in one of my future posts. Hope it's read and appreciated by someone worthy!
Monday, February 21, 2011
DAY 22, Post 3
I had a doctor's appointment today and was shocked to hear that I've lost more weight than I thought I have... I started 2010 at 211 pounds. Today, I was down to 154.3. Phooooooo... I know my eating (or lack thereof) over the last month has been shitty, and while I don't want to gain the weight back, I know I need to keep it down by eating healthy and exercising.
Not that this is eating healthy, but this was dinner...
Yes, I've added my salad to the bottom, but I still have the Steak, hot sauce and Guacamole on top. Yum Yum!
Not that this is eating healthy, but this was dinner...
Yes, I've added my salad to the bottom, but I still have the Steak, hot sauce and Guacamole on top. Yum Yum!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
DAY 21, Post 3
It's been a lovely day... A lovely weekend for that matter...
Today Thing 2 had a Jedi Training birthday party to go to, and he came home with a new Yoda costume and a bag full of candy from a pinata. I asked him if they used their light sabers to break into the pinata and he said no, a golf club. Hmmm... Seems some Jedi wasn't quite thinking about the powers of the force.
I went in to get my schedule this afternoon and I have tomorrow and Tuesday off and I work Wednesday 10-5. I'm thinking this means I'll be working full days this weekend, but as long as I get a fair share of hours I'll be satisfied. I told CT this afternoon though that I plan on getting a full-time day job by the end of March. I WILL get a full-time day job by the end of March. While I love my co-workers at CMG, I would much rather know that I have every night and weekend to myself... as well as not have to clean bathrooms and the lovely floor drains. I'll keep my job at CMG so that I can maintain my health insurance post-divorce, however I need... Something more...
On the way home from picking up Thing 2 from the birthday party we stopped at Family Video and got a couple movies (for me and CT) and a video game. The movies are Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Monty Python and the Life of Brian.
Mom asked me this morning if I would rather have clothes or money for my birthday, and the most honest answer I could give her was "Mom, I have no idea what size I wear." Jeans I bought in October or November no longer fit, to the point that they fall off my hips when I'm at work. It's ridiculous to think I've lost that much in just three months.
And on to the NASCAR race... Denny Hamlin almost had it for me. But with four laps left some other drivers crashed and sent him back to 24th position. He made it back up to 21 though, but entering the season with 21 isn't exactly where I wanted to be.
Tonight I am making Lasagne for dinner. Is it homemade? No. But this awesome Stoffeurs lasagne has been sitting in my freezer for some time now and I'm looking for it to be gone. I didn't make breakfast today, and honestly, for the first time in a weeks I didn't miss Breakfast with the Beatles. Maybe that means I'm finally moving on. Yay me!
Today Thing 2 had a Jedi Training birthday party to go to, and he came home with a new Yoda costume and a bag full of candy from a pinata. I asked him if they used their light sabers to break into the pinata and he said no, a golf club. Hmmm... Seems some Jedi wasn't quite thinking about the powers of the force.
I went in to get my schedule this afternoon and I have tomorrow and Tuesday off and I work Wednesday 10-5. I'm thinking this means I'll be working full days this weekend, but as long as I get a fair share of hours I'll be satisfied. I told CT this afternoon though that I plan on getting a full-time day job by the end of March. I WILL get a full-time day job by the end of March. While I love my co-workers at CMG, I would much rather know that I have every night and weekend to myself... as well as not have to clean bathrooms and the lovely floor drains. I'll keep my job at CMG so that I can maintain my health insurance post-divorce, however I need... Something more...
On the way home from picking up Thing 2 from the birthday party we stopped at Family Video and got a couple movies (for me and CT) and a video game. The movies are Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Monty Python and the Life of Brian.
I find it quite amusing how some things seem to parallel (YOU will know what I'm talking about). Last weekend we got Paranormal Activity 2. Not as good as Paranormal Activity (1) in my opinion but still scary.
CT is helping me achieve my fitness goals, even if for now I'm just getting psyched about them and haven't started working on them yet. Having lost 60-70 pounds in the past year I've got a little bit of belly to burn away, and I'll be doing crunches everyday until I have money to do something more (like join a gym) about it. Push-ups may also be in the cards, but... I've never been a fan of push-ups. It would be nice, however, to finally be able to do a pull-up. I've NEVER been able to do one. Imagine that, being able to do my first pull-up at age 32. How completely satisfying! Oh, how I would love a belly like Gillian Michaels'.
Mom asked me this morning if I would rather have clothes or money for my birthday, and the most honest answer I could give her was "Mom, I have no idea what size I wear." Jeans I bought in October or November no longer fit, to the point that they fall off my hips when I'm at work. It's ridiculous to think I've lost that much in just three months.
And on to the NASCAR race... Denny Hamlin almost had it for me. But with four laps left some other drivers crashed and sent him back to 24th position. He made it back up to 21 though, but entering the season with 21 isn't exactly where I wanted to be.
Tonight I am making Lasagne for dinner. Is it homemade? No. But this awesome Stoffeurs lasagne has been sitting in my freezer for some time now and I'm looking for it to be gone. I didn't make breakfast today, and honestly, for the first time in a weeks I didn't miss Breakfast with the Beatles. Maybe that means I'm finally moving on. Yay me!
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